Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Hidden Dangers of Painting Outdoors

Yesterday was a good day for painting, but I hate surprises. I came home built a big fire to roast hotdogs when my wife got home and messed around in the house. Later after we came in, I took a hot tub tub is a Rubbermaid Watering tank I set up in the basement to take those great hot-soaker baths. You know when the back is out of wack.

Later that evening, after watching some TV I got ready for bed. My wife was looking at my back and she thought I had a new mole. This mole crawled. AHHHHHHH! I hate ticks.
I suspect what or where I got it was yesterday sitting in the grass by the river painting.
I figured a hot bath and a scrub would get rid of anything that might have hitchhiked home with me.
If you know anything about ticks is that they are persistent hitchhikers . They hang on with these hook like appendages in the front of their body. They are in the spider family and eight legged. The front legs have reverse hooks so they can hold on and hammer their fangs into the skin and filler-up. After this they drop off.

Okay, we got the little bugger. He died. So I put on a shirt and go to bed. I usually stay up a little longer because I can't sleep right away. I'm too wound up from the day's activities. I'm sitting in bed looking up ticks online and I get this crawly feeling all over. So I start scratching everything that itches and by now that's about a hundred places on my body. I get to my head and where the skull drops off in the back on the right side and there's a new mole. A new MOLE! That's no damn mole! I'm infested with arachnids.

Tims wife loves arachnids as she wrote a whole book on them. Decisions, I save him for his wife or initiate the "Sudden Death Thumbnail Squeeze." Yeah, you guessed it I saved it for his wife in a little glass jar. Awwwwhhh. Ain't I the nice one?

He's the biggest one in the hand. It's a dog tick that I find online. This is the picture I found.

"That's him officer! The ugly one at the top with the white hoody."

Now the next time I go to paint outdoors I'm not goin' to sit in the grass. I'm taking a folding aluminum chair coated with Malethion, Hydroxy-Perethrins and maybe even a 50,000volt cattle fence charger attached to the chair legs.

I know what your thinking. This guys a kitty.
Actually, I'm not. I just don't like new moles showing up and not staying put. That's a mole! And they don't get bigger and drop off.
See you next time as,


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